Between best friend and bf ...~~

Well what's the different between good friend and bf/gf? Well I guess different people have different perceptions. But have you ever have a friend(opposite sex) who is more than a best friend but not a bf/gf? Well, I have one. Yes, this person is HIM.

Well, we got to know each other for not so long ago, but we are cool hanging out together. We share our feelings, from top to toe, even some dirty little secrets. As I've mention earlier, I got a crush on him, kinda like him. But, truly I've lost faith in relationship, I don't really wanna start another relationship so soon. But there are really somthing going on with us. We are like best friends now, can discuss anything openly. At times, we are more than just a best friends, as we were doing things like a normal couple does.

He is a very very nice guy. Most of the time he knows what I want and what I need. After the last time I rejected him, he seemed to learn a lesson, knowing how to handle me. I'm really happy when he wasn't being pushy anymore, eager to start a relationship with me. He really get into the real picture of "Go with the flow." I dunno what's on his mind actually, maybe he really wants me badly, maybe he doesn't. I've no idea. But I'm confortable with our current status. I know it might not be acceptable to the public, yet I don't really care how others think, or how they look at us, I just wanna know how he thinks, and if he is ok with what we are now. I really care about his feelings, I don't wanna hurt him.

I was being moody today, I don't really know why but I guess is the issue above that bothers me. He was so caring, trying to cheer me up and has been pursuading me to share with him. Finally, his sincerity touched me and we had a talk before I left his place. All these while I was wondering is that ok for him? Will he feel bad about it? Does he agree with who we are now? What does he want? All these questions have finally come with the answers. He understands the situation well, he knows my difficulties, my concerns and my feelings. He cope it well with the situation here. He truly cares about me, without confronting me with something related to "relationship", not even a single word. We were like mutually understood each other. We claims that we are just friends in front of others. As I myself also don't know how to describe our relationship, it wasn't an official bf/gf thingy, but it's more than good friends. I'm really glad that he would accept who we are now.

I really appreciate what he has done for me, I wanna say thank you to him truly from the bottom of my heart. I'm glad to have him in my life. IF, ONLY IF, things don't turn out to be good as what we expected, unfortunately we couldn't end up being together, still I don't think I can afford to lose him in my life....