It's about somebody....~~

I've recently checking on him. I like him in some way but there are also things that I dun like about him.

Like, I don't believe in sharing expenses, especially like buying things, paying for meals. Why do I say so, it's not that I've requesting more, my thoughts is, don't buy anything if u can't afford it. Don't want the gf share on ur bill or even pay for your bill. Buy the thing later when u can afford it. Don't got me wrong, it's not about don't willing to share on bills; it's about the thought that do have this statement it mind that, can't afford, it's ok, I always got somebody to share on my bill. "NEVER EXPECT THE GF TO PAY OR SHARE ON UR BILL. "If she's willing to, it's something extra, an added bonus.

Well, thank god I have a loving blissful family, my parent loves me so much. All these while they were so worry about me especially when I was in a relationship. They want the best for me. They don't want me to get hurt. Being my bf, he has to gain his trust from my parent, my parent have to LIKE him. Yes, he has not meet my parent yet, we will never know what will happen later. My dad warned me not to trust people so easily, not to tell people too many things about myself to people. Yesterday I was talking over the phone with him.We were chit chating happily, my dad heard my conversation, he wanted me to stop telling him more about myself to him. He heard my dad. So I was being frank telling him that my dad said. He suddenly became down and said :"You should have judge by urself if I'm a trusted person. Ur dad doesn't know me well that's y he say so." Well, I'm really not happy with it. Yes, I should judge by myself who's the person I can trust, but sometimes I make mistake. My dad cares about me he was just trying to protect me by reminding me this. He mean no harm. Well, I felt a bit down for his reaction. Anyway, luckily he added that if my dad meet him in person things might turn out to be good.

There are more things I don't like about him, his life style. I still can't accept him to hang around at CC. There's nothing wrong hanging around there I know, and I know guys can't live without gaming; but dunno y I still can't accept it. Well I know it could be difficult for him cause he used to do so. I'm not expecting him to change or what, but I know if I can't accept it, things will never work out smooth. Yes, he did told me that he will cut down on time spending in CC. Well, we will see how things go on later. Another thing is, he really CAN SLEEP, he can sleep more than 24 hrs a day. Sleeping is not a crime, but the things is, he can be DEADLY SLEPT, sleep like nobody's business, eventhuogh the phone rings 1000 times also still he will be hang around happily in his dreamland. I was wondering, in case if I'm in real trouble, calling him up for help when he is sleeping, I probably can just forget about it and directly seek for other alternative to get somebody else to help me. This is who he is, I know he himself also can't help it. So, what else I can do? If I can't accept it also, then there's no way I cant be in a relationship with him. I hate the feeling of helpless. And I hate that feeling of being worry for the person when I can't reach to the person, don't know what is he/she doing or is he/she safe at that moment.

Actually, I need a lot of attention. Recently I figure out that I'm trying to get more of his attention, and I started to eat up lots of his time for me. We meet each other at least 2 to 3 times a week. Even meeting up at night after work. I feel like I've started to be dependent on him. And this is not a good sign, because I'm falling more. Damn. I don't wanna start any relationship yet. But If I'm falling more, I'm afraid that I cant control myself to walk into relationship, and started my nightmares again. So, I really need to control myself. Do my own things, don't think too much.

Due to my threatening ex bf keep annoying me, intruding me, I always called him for help. I know this is not the right thing to do because it affected his work. Talking on the phone during working hours, this is a very wrong thing to do. I don't wanna walk in to his life, bringing him troubles. Only beautiful moments should be brought in a relationship, but not troubles and sorrows, whenever this happens, that's a red light for a relationship.

Well after all , I guess it wasn't that bad. But I will take more time to know more about him. I believe in 1 thing, If you have the faith, there will be never too late. No rushing, take it slow.